Speaking with a male coworker the other day gave me another male perspective on relationships. We were talking about living the married life and, with no hesitation, he made a statement that was as obvious as it was disturbing. Like many men before him, he said that “the woman has to always be right.” I’ve heard this comment before. People say it with sarcasm at weddings, at family get-togethers, and just to be funny. Come to think of it, it’s really not funny at all.
This left me wondering. Why do so many men feel like they have to give up something just to appease their women?
I asked my coworker to explain himself. He said, “I feel like I’m always the one apologizing.” I guess this means that his wife is either always right or she can’t ever admit it when she is wrong. I’ve never met her but I’m willing to bet it’s the latter. If a man feels that he needs to apologize simply because the woman won’t, then he must feel there is an unfair balance in the relationship.
My coworker said a couple more things that stuck out. He said, “If I’m going to admit that I’m wrong (when I’m wrong) then you better admit it when you’re wrong.” Even more enlightening for me was that he said, “Women need to throw us a bone every once in a while if they want to keep us around.”
This really brought all the reasons why men feel that the woman has to always be right into one sharp focus for me. They feel this way because they don’t get any credit for being right themselves. Or even worse, they probably don’t feel that their women even acknowledge it when they are right.
All men need credit, praise, and acknowledgment. That is what keeps them going. As a woman, if you can understand this, then you can understand how important it is to a man when you give him credit. If he can’t get any of this from you, chances are he’s going to try to find it elsewhere, and that won’t be good for either of you.
Just remember, when giving credit, it’s just as important to tell a man when he is right as it is to admit to a man when you are wrong. And, if you are admitting you are wrong, then don’t forget to apologize.
Sometimes, you should just give the dog a bone even if you prefer the challenge of a tug-of-war.
